About last night...

Last Friday night was glooooooorious. (this was taking place before the dinner… sorry the chronology of these stories is all screwed up).

At one point I had two people supposed to stay the night on Friday and neither of them ended up coming. This turned out to be a good thing. Neither French guy nor ll were home either, so I could do as I please without fear. The dog was here, but no ll in sight. The dog that "has a better life than you and me combined". Luckily it didn't barf or shit anywhere like it had a few weeks ago so all was good in the hood.
Eventually French guy came home but I was already getting ready for bed. ll came a bit later and took the dog for a walk.

He comes back, nothing special. I do hear him tell the dog, “I don’t give a fuck WHERE you sleep, just stay away from me!” Quite shocking to hear, since he takes better care of his dog than he does himself, which I guess isn’t saying much. Then again he tells his boyfriend that he’s not welcome in the apartment, and calls his best friend a ‘white piece of shit’. No wonder he’s an alky – he has to deal with his drunken mistakes somehow – by getting drunk again of course! It all makes sense now…

I hear ll turn on the TV, telling the dog that they hadn’t ‘hung out in a while’. Hahahaha… just like an old friend. Except I’m pretty sure the dog is more interested in licking his own testicles than watching Dutch HGTV. Then that external monologue flares up (did I call it dialogue before??). It seems that they had a run-in with the law on their little walk. This was confirmed when he tried to call a few people to explain the situation.

From what I heard, he was walking the dog who didn’t have his leash on. He was running ahead, sniffing things as dogs do, when several bicycle cops approached him. He then found himself by ’20 people’ (cops), asking for his ID and being pretty aggressive. They didn’t believe that he was with a dog at all. He told me at dinner that he guessed someone maybe called the police, because there was a creepy black man snooping around the neighborhood in the middle of the night. He said he got to the point where he just ‘gave up’. In the telephone version, he had been wrestled to the ground, which ‘humiliated him’. That part of the story was absent in the restaurant version. Also absent in the restaurant version was the helicopter flying overhead and him believing he would be on the news and/or YouTube.

A lady cop saw his dog and asked if it was his. He said that the dog looked terrified and wouldn’t come near ll because it was freaky. The way he made it sound like on the phone, I can only imagine it was like a scene out of cops, with ll running through a field and getting tackled by police, filmed from a helicopter that was shining a spotlight on him. Eventually he got the dog and the cops threw his passport back at him. ll picked up the dog and carried him two blocks home. In the telephone version, the cops stole his 400 euro bike, the one he washed in the shower. His friend back in the states said he was just lucky he wasn’t in California, because the police would have just shot him. Apparently friend was laughing at the whole story and ll got really P Oed.

Then the REAL fun began. ll went to Victor’s room (I think I already used his name, and you can see my face in the fucking mirror as my friend from the internship pointed out, DAMN), who I’m sure heard the whole story just as I had. ll knocked on the door and asked to talk – around 1 or 1:30.

Victor said, in a really sympathetic, almost patronizing voice, “Oh sure Art, come in.”

“I need to get my bike back! They took my bike! IT cost me a lot of money! I can’t let them have it! I mean…” ll was pretty much in hysterics and wasn’t making any sense.

“OK calm down, just tell me what happened.”ll basically tried to repeat the story but he left most of the key plot elements out, and it still sounded like nonsense.

“Wait. I don’t understand what happened.”

“WHAT?! VICTOR!! Just listen to me!” (again, nonsense)

“I don’t understand what you’re telling me. I was not there, I don’t get it.”

“Oh my GOD, are you kidding me?! Are you listening to what I’m telling you?!”

“I wasn’t there, I was sleeping.”

(Again, nonsense)

“So basically they asked for your passport – you got scared and the dog got scared, now you’re here. I don’t get the point.”

“VICTOR, I’m gonna throw up all over you. Are you kidding me? No.. no… Victor STAND UP!”

“No!”

“Don’t you get it?! You know what? You know what? MOVE OUT. GET UP. I WANT YOU GONE. I WANT YOU TO MOVE OUT!”

“No I’m sleeping.”

“This is MY bed and this is MY apartment and I want you to GET OUT!”

“I pay, I pay!”

“I can’t deal with your bullshit anymore, you insensitive asshole. I want you out of here in 72 hours, do you understand?”

“GET OUT! GET OUT!!”

***

When ll had first started his hysterics, he said out loud, to himself:

“Oh my God. I was just raped by a whole country.”